The discovery of your husband’s cheating will put a sharp and hot knife through your heart, and the pain can be devastating. Yet this is not all. His affair will put your whole family at great peril, particularly if you have some children.
Such a threat may not have anything to do with their physical well-being, but it will be very real nevertheless. An affair shakes the very foundations of a family, and the children may be destabilized badly. In any case, the kids will hardly be happy when they sense that the parents are not happy themselves.
As much as you feel great pain about your husband’s betrayal, you will still need to make some crucial decisions. You will be faced with two big choices, none of which will be easy. You will have to make up your mind whether you want to forgive him and re-establish your relationship or go your separate way and start a new life.
In spite of the great pain you feel, it will not be easy to simply walk away from the family you built together. Even if there are no children, the dreams and plans you have worked on together will not be easy to forget, let alone the wonderful times you have shared. However, deciding to stay will not make things easier either. Overcoming the pain will be very challenging.
How you can forgive him
If you decide that you want to rebuild your relationship, you will need to forgive your husband first of all. This is easier said than done because of your great heartbreak.
You will also need to forgive yourself, as there are high chances that you have been rather harsh with yourself since your discovery of the betrayal. You are probably blaming yourself entirely for his misdeed.
Let your husband know plainly that you have forgiven him. Tell it to him straight. Then you need to tell yourself that you have indeed forgiven him. Keep repeating “I forgive him” until you come to believe it. Although doing this may appear rather foolish, it really does work � and that it what is important.
Prepare a list of things that you truly love about your husband. Having something that you can look at and see the ways you appreciate him is very important at this time, as you will hardly see those qualities when you look at him. There is another advantage of doing this.
When you take your time to write down the things you love in him, you will actually be able to reflect on the wonderful moments you have shared together.
Find and fix the problems
People who are in genuinely happy relationships do not go out and cheat. If you are not aware of any problems in your marriage, make an effort to find them. Once you have determined the problems, you will need to find the best way of fixing them.