As a woman student at the Iraqi agricultural university during the 1980s, there were many things that were seen as being just facts of life. For example, women students were excluded from certain subjects and they were particularly encouraged to take an education in the fields of service, teaching, healthcare and social work. The women students often turned up with varying degrees of  visible signs of violence, and all political activity – other than that which served the ruling Ba’ath party – was strictly prohibited. 

For many, this was just the way things were. Conditions you had to accept – and learn to live with. For others, these ‘facts of life’ provoked feelings of injustice, anger and triggered a desire to act. And Bayan Salih happened to be one of those ‘others.’

The women students often turned up with varying degrees of  visible signs of violence, and all political activity – other than that which served the ruling Ba’ath party – was strictly prohibited. 

Around the age of 17-18, Bayan Salih, then a living in Irbil in Iraq, seriously began to become aware of how particularly widespread in Ba’ath-ruled Iraq gender inequality, repression, violence and chauvinism against women all were. And once she had become aware of these things, she began seeing them everywhere – in the public sphere, in her education, and among her friends.

It was here that she decided to do something about it. The young woman activist took her first step on a road that, to begin with, would lead her out of Iraq via an illegal stay in Turkey to her final destination of Denmark, where she has since been instrumental in the creation of the site Center For Women’s Equality that collects information about women’s rights across the world. 

The cause convinced her worried parents

At the agricultural university, Bayan Salih found like-minded people who, as she did, wanted an equal and secular society. As far-left activists, they handed out pamphlets, held meetings and set up networks and contacts. Not long after starting up, they had to start conducting their activities in secret. Her parents, who themselves were not politically active, has begun to get a little worried for their daughter. Their worry was founded on two things: firstly, they were naturally terrified that she would be captured by the Ba’athists; secondly, they believed that her honour was in danger because there were also male friends and colleagues in these activist circles, and as responsible parents, they cared about their daughter’s good reputation.  

“I think that the cause itself ended up convincing them. Working for fundamental human rights and equality was something they themselves were in favour of. These were even things they saw as being good, core Muslim values. And, they could see the devotion and enthusiasm that their daughter was putting in. In fact, my mother, who in the beginning had been worried, ended up being very proud that I was fighting for a cause that was so just,” remembers Bayan Salih, who today lives south of Copenhagen in Brøndby Strand, a world away from the place in which she grew up and started her adult life.    

“I think that the cause itself ended up convincing them. Working for fundamental human rights and equality was something they themselves were in favour of. These were even things they saw as being good, core Muslim values(...)“

Political activists made use of the turbulence following the Gulf War

As an anti-Ba’athist in Iraq, getting a steady job was not possible, even with a good education from a university. So Bayan Salih began working as a high-school substitute teacher teaching biology and Arabic. She married an equally politically active man from a different city, and when she moved to his city to live with him, she continued her political work there – against Saddam Hussein and extreme Islamism and for equality, secularism and political freedom.   

Even though these young communists had a principle of maintaining a low profile with their activities, they relaxed their guard a little when it came to their security(...) 

Here, too, the fight was fought by handing out leaflets and holding meetings, and in the turbulence following the 1991 Gulf war, the activists found they had more room to manoeuvre. Bayan Salih’s group were quick to seize upon this and stepped up their activities by hosting talks, seminars and even began publishing a magazine entitled Musawaa (the Arabic word for equality).  

Even though these young communists had a principle of maintaining a low profile with their activities, they relaxed their guard a little when it came to their security.  As a result, it did not come as a huge surprise when a few years later Bayan Salih and her family found themselves in the tightening grip of both the regime and religious activists. 

The threats that forced the family to flee

The letters were written by hand. In them stood what would happen to Bayan Salih and her family if they failed to stop their propaganda and ceased fighting against Islam. Several friends and acquaintances had already succumbed to the bullets of extremists and the regime. And she herself was in no doubt that the threats were serious. 

As time passed, their fear grew. When Bayan Salih gave birth to twins in 1990, she had reached the point where she hardly dared go out into the street. After much difficult deliberation, she and her husband made the decision in the spring of 1993 to flee. Over the course of the summer, they sold their possessions and took all the help from friends and family that they could get. They needed this help because they had both lost their jobs as a result of their activism. By October, they had secured a tourist visa and a bus ticket to Turkey.  

When Bayan Salih gave birth to twins in 1990, she had reached the point where she hardly dared go out into the street. 

Their destination was Canada

They stayed in Turkey for almost two years, living with friends and party comrades. For most of their time there, they had no visa and their residency applications were turned down. Nonetheless, this did not prevent Bayan Salih from contacting a UN representative, nor did it hold her back from speaking about the cause of the women Iraqi refugees at the UN.

They had planned that their next stop would be Canada, but the Canadian immigration law clashed with the epilepsy illness one of her daughters had, so the destination was changed to Europe. This suited Bayan Salih fine.

“It was easier to carry on my political activities in Iraq from inside a European country,” she explains. 

The country they settled in ended up being Denmark – partly by coincidence, partly because she had contacts already living in Denmark, and partly because it was easier to get into the country then than it is today. Bayan Salih and her then husband arrived in the country in September 1996.  

An active and committed life in Denmark

In the years that followed, the determined Iraqi woman flew through Danish language school, took a business foundation course, completed a college IT course, and spent three years as an IT supporter in a Danish company. She did all this alongside working as an interpreter at the Red Cross and at being a consultant for the Danish Women’s Council – to mention just a few highlights.    

In the last two years, she has worked as a project manager for a Ministry of Integration social housing project, and has alongside this work held a seat on the board of Modern Discussion, a web-based information and debate platform which works for equality, human rights and secularisation. 

Since 2004, Bayan Salih has also been a volunteer coordinator and a main driving force behind the Center for Women’s Equality – a network organisation founded around an Internet platform for reports, research, interviews, articles, news and statistics about women’s rights and which is part of Modern Discussion.  

“There are still women who burn themselves in desperation over the fact that they are mistreated and cannot find support and help within their own families – often quite the contrary, in fact,” she explains. 

With Bayan at the helm, the centre, which is run by volunteers, has, among other things, took the initiative in 2010 to set up a hotline for women victims of abuse in Iraq – something for which, according to Banyan Salih, there is a huge need. This receives approximately 1 million kroner in funding from KVINFO’s Fund for Dialogue and Cooperation on Gender and Women's Rights and is run by Landsorganisationen af Kvindekrisecentre i Danmark,   the Jordanian Women's Union and the Women's Empowerment Organization in Erbil, Irak. 

“There are still women who burn themselves in desperation over the fact that they are mistreated and cannot find support and help within their own families – often quite the contrary, in fact,” she explains. 

There is discrimination in both Denmark and in Iraq

Banyan Salih has lived in Denmark for almost 15 years. Here, she has obtained a new perspective of the situation in Iraq and has experienced a radically different view of women to the one with which she grew up. But the sky is by no means the limit in Denmark either. The now-45-year-old woman does not hesitate for one second to point out areas where Danish society also suffers badly from gender distortion and where discrimination and set stereotypes continue to hamper equality – both in terms of gender and in terms of ethnicity. 

“When I used to work as a supporter in the IT industry, which for many in Denmark is traditionally seen as being a man’s job, I experienced that when I answered the telephone a lot of them would ask me if they could speak to the supporter. And in reality, it’s still true that in today’s Denmark there are areas – both in the home and in the workplace – that are more or less reserved for the one gender – these include childcare, the service industry, top management, seats on boards, the IT sector and politics, just to name a few,” tells Banyan Salih.

“It makes me mad! On the one hand, I’m furious at the men who claim the right to have four wives; on the other hand, I’m furious at the women, who have completely lost their identities to the men,”

But what about the situation in Banyan Salih’s homeland of Iraq? The country that now after several decades of being more or less constantly at war is suffering from a demographic and gender-linked challenge: there are now too few men to match the number of women of child-bearing age. In some areas, polygamy is being suggested or is even practiced, something that is otherwise forbidden by law but is unofficially practiced as a means to solve the problem of the deficit of men. 

“It makes me mad! On the one hand, I’m furious at the men who claim the right to have four wives; on the other hand, I’m furious at the women, who have completely lost their identities to the men,” explains Bayan Salih vehemently.  

“Fair enough, it’s maybe not so appealing for a man to have a 45-year-old woman when he can re-marry and get a new young wife. But the emotional needs of the women who live in polygamous marriages are not being met – nor are their physical needs,” she adds. 

Nevertheless, many women do consent to such arrangements – because being somebody’s number two, number three or number four is for them still better than not having a husband at all. 

“Other women look down on unmarried women. The thing that gives status is a family. Women in the Middle East are very ‘un-independent’,” explains Bayan Salih. 

“Fair enough, it’s maybe not so appealing for a man to have a 45-year-old woman when he can re-marry and get a new young wife. But the emotional needs of the women who live in polygamous marriages are not being met – nor are their physical needs,”

Liberation begins with the women themselves

According to Bayan Salih, a large obstacle for the liberation of Arab women is the women’s own perception of themselves and their own attitudes towards their gender. Many women build up their entire identity around a man, but Bayan Salih’s message and her own experience is that this is not the way that things have to be. 

Today, she herself lives with man who she is very fond of, but she divorced the father of her twins in 2005 and has experienced what it is like to be alone. 

“The most important thing in life is to love yourself and keep on growing as an person. You can do this with a partner, but it’s okay to do it without one. It is absolutely possible to have a good life, where you can have a network, a job, do voluntary work, and have a lot of spare-time interests, and it’s possible to be financially independent,” she explains.

Nevertheless, many women do consent to such arrangements – because being somebody’s number two, number three or number four is for them still better than not having a husband at all. 

And uneasily she adds that women do not have to be physically dependent on a man either. In fact, Bayan Salih wants to teach women from the Middle East how to take control of their own sexuality, even though the subject is still taboo. She herself is a little prude to start with, but quickly gets over it.

“If there aren’t enough men for all the women then it’s okay to find an alternative,” she smiles. 

And regarding financial independency, women in Iraq do have tough conditions.

“A general problem is that there are very few jobs in Iraq. And, of course, those hiring want to hire the best-qualified employees – but who are the ones with the best qualifications? It is the men, who for years have had the best access to education. The result is that it’s difficult for a woman to get a job, to become financially independent and to become an independent person,” points out Bayan Salih.   

The Arab Spring has also rubbed off on the women of Iraq

Iraq is in a different situation to the other Arab regimes where a dictator has recently, or is on the brink of being, overthrown. Nevertheless, Bayan Salih still believes that both the women from Iraq and the Arab women across the region are enjoying the positive effect of the recent uprisings and political and social changes that have swept across the entire Middle East. 

“What the demonstrating women have shown is that women are a natural part of society and therefore should participate on an equal footing to men. Also, the media has given us a new image of women, which is really positive. Whereas in the past women have been portrayed as either dancers or repressed individuals we should feel sorry for, they now are being portrayed as Valkyries who are standing up and fighting for their country and for their rights,” she concludes with satisfaction.